I've had a great past few days. Last week, I got to go and explore this ingenious project where this grass roots group collects the household waste of 18,000 families each week. The biodegradable waste is then sorted out and dried, then ground through a machine, and after several more ingenious steps, the waste is transformed into briquettes that are environmentally sustainable and a third of the cost of firewood. We're looking at the viability of using these briquettes in refugee camps, which would substantially decrease the environmental impact of refugees forraging the land and trees for firewood.
Though Friday night didn't hold much excitement, as I'm getting a little burnt out from working nine hour days and then being in French class for another two hours three days a week, Saturday was amazing. It was a gorgeous weekend in Kigali, so my weekend roomates and I headed to one of the local hotels that boasts a gorgeous swimming pool. Paul Kagame, the President of Rwanda, showed up to play some tennis, and I'm sure he was no doubt extremely impressed with my butterfly skills. We went out for Valentines day dinner, which was great. Sunday was super productive, as I spent three hours conjugating verbs for french class, writing a speech for an auspicious occassion that is rapidly falling upon us, and working to upgrade my cv. Then I went for a run, hopped in the shower, and headed to a potluck with a bunch of expat friends. There was something really glorious about eating an amazing veggie stew, salad from the garden, bread fresh from the oven with Guac on the side, and pineapples and papaya from the back yard watching the sun set over Kigali. The company was great, exchanging tales from travels in Congo, Uganda, Chad, Cameroon, Tunisia, Sudan, Somalia..etc. and not for the first time since I've been here did I reflect on how lucky I am to have had the opportunity to live in some amazing places world-wide.
Part of my weekend was also spent reading the famous "We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Shall be Killed with our Families" . It's one of many books highlighting events of the genocide, and it's very well written. There are times that I'm wandering the streets of Kigali and the enormity of the place and history really hits me. This was particulary poignant as I was wandering by the Hotel Rwanda (Milles de Collines) one evening at dusk, and I got a flash of how truly horrific it must have been to have swarmes of Interhammwe storming down the streets looking for people to massacre. I could almost see militias going over the walls trying to gain access to their next victims. I had flashes of the road blocks and the bodies piling up in the streets-visions probably assisted by the very tasteful but graphic genocide memorial centre.
The centre was quite the experience. There are several different exhibits. There were the displays of skulls that you have all seen. But perhaps the most difficult for me was the exhibit with clothes of victims hanging on display. One of the articles was a superman sheet soiled with blood and dirt. It was a sheet similar to ones my nephews (ok not really my nephews but for all intents and purposes they are) have had, and it was very very difficult for me to see. There were exhibitions of kids with little summaries of their favorite foods and their first words and their dreams. There was an exhibition of photos upon photos that survivors had brought of their friends and families who were victims. You could sit on a bench and stare into thousands of faces that had vanished that month in '94, and these pictures were only the ones that were brought in by people left to remember their friends and families. Many people's memories will be lost forever-no real evidence that they ever existed-because their loved ones were slaughtered too.
I have also been thinking a lot about what it means to be party to a genocide. When I was in University during my undergrad, I double majored in International Relations and Forensic Psychology. Consequently, I had the opportunity to write a paper with a very well known Psychologist at UBC that was focused on the psychology of genocide. So often, we hear of the post traumatic stress disorder. Dr. Dutton and I were focused on what we referred to as "pre-traumatic stress disorder", or the psychological process one must go through when you are in the midsts of a genocide and your options are kill or be killed. A topic that is meant more for a Masters thesis or PhD. It must truly be excrutiating. A lot of "We Wish To Inform You" focused on the duality of Hutu who would save some Tutsi (particularly if they were related), but spend their days massacring others. The argument goes that if one had the capacity to understand that some should be saved, they had the necessary capacity to understand right from wrong and thus were doubly responsible. A complex topic that Dad, the NCRMD specialist, understands far better than I.
But when I think about it, what would my own family have done to save ourselves? I was twelve the year the genocide rampaged through Rwanda. My cousin has a pen-pal that she'd gotten through her middle school they were partnered with a school here in Kigali. They had been writing letters back and forth as a mechanism of culture sharing, etc, and one day the class back in Canada got word of the massacre. My cousin's pen pal survived and I have been in contact with him-hope to meet him very soon. But it is stories like these that bring the genocide close to home and emphasize how truly impossible it is to sort through all the ethical and moral nuances to come up with some sort of final conclusion.
One interview from a priest who saved a few people but arranged the massacres of many revealed what I have often considered: it is difficult to judge when we weren't there, and the international community made no meaningful attempt to stop the genocide or provide any alternatives, so we don't get an opinion. The Priest was adamant that if he had not killed, the extremists would have killed him and those he was trying to protect. Evidence suggests he was right. Does this mean he should be absolved? I don't know. I understand the value and importance of the peace and reconcilliation process. But in some ways, those who were party to the genocide only because the other option was death now have to live in fear that they will be locked up, and 15 years later they still are being locked up.
Anyways. Enough. Am off to the field again tomorrow, and have another busy week in front of me. I can see that my time in Rwanda is going to speed by. Am off to french...
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